<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>One VERY Bad Day by Queen_BriarRose</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313147">One VERY Bad Day</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_BriarRose/pseuds/Queen_BriarRose'>Queen_BriarRose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Crack, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Crack, One Shot, Romantic Comedy, This fic is now a meme on Discord, canon? we don't know her</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:54:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,408</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_BriarRose/pseuds/Queen_BriarRose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If Lauren knew how bad this day was going to be, should've jumped out of Mr.Flemmings window head first.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lauren Sinclair &amp; Kieran White, Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One VERY Bad Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lauren Sinclair closed the door behind her as she left Kieran White’s apartment. She laid her body on the door, closed her eyes, and tilted her head back. </p><p>“Shit. Fuck. Oh, Shit. Oh, Fuck. Fuck.” Lauren whispered. </p><p>Lauren had just made probably the biggest mistake of her life. Just a mere hour ago she let Kieran White, the most dangerous and feared assassin to ever live, clap her cheeks. It started as just a playful kiss, then it just escalated to them banging on the kitchen counter. How could she have done this? She thought she was better than this. She hated this man when she first made the deal with him. Now she’s just letting him yeet her virginity out the window like a bucket full of piss. That wasn’t the worst part of this whole situation though. The worst part is that she can’t just go lock herself in her room and contemplate her life after this. She has to go to Harvey’s funeral in 30 minutes. She couldn’t believe the situation she was in. She has to go to a funeral as if she didn’t just get her back blown out. Lauren took her head off the door and began to walk down the hallway. She was walking a lot slower this time. Her pelvic area was extremely sore. She couldn’t make her legs cross each other as she walked so she was forced to do a half assed crab walk to the funeral home. She got many galances from people as she was walking. She prayed to every god ever known to not have someone come up to her and ask her if she was okay. If someone did, she’d probably panic and say “I shit my pants”. Lauren finally made it to the funeral after taking the most painful stroll of her life. Kym noticed Lauren enter the building and rushed up to greet her. Kym still had a lot of energy but she wasn’t as happy as she usually is for obvious reasons. </p><p>“There you are.” Kym said “I was worried that you weren’t going to make it”. Kym noticed the sad and tired look in Lauren’s eyes. <br/>“Are you okay?” Kym asked. </p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had trouble sleeping because I couldn’t stop thinking about poor Harvey”.</p><p> Kym then said “It’ll be okay” and gave Lauren a strong pat on the back.</p><p> Lauren winced because Kym managed to hit one of the bruises on her back that were caused by Kieran. </p><p>“MMAAJJFA” Lauren grumbled.</p><p> Lauren and Kym then proceeded to make their way to the room where Harvey’s body was. Sitting down felt like an Olympic sport for Lauren because it triggered every single pain she had from the waist down.</p><p> “Owowowowowowoowowowowowowoow” She whispered as she sat down. </p><p>Lauren then spent the next hour, listening to the priest and Harvey’s loved ones talking about Harvey and what a great person he was. It made Lauren grit her teeth because she knew that Harvey was a traitor. She couldn’t tell anyone though because that would expose her and Kieran and they would be sent to jail. After the ceremony, it was time to take Harvey’s coffin to be buried. At first Lauren thought </p><p>“Thank God this nightmare is almost over” but then she remembered, </p><p>“Shit. I’m one of the Pallbearers” </p><p>She was in too much pain to be lifting a coffin. She knew she had to do it anyway in order to not draw suspicion. Lauren got off her chair. </p><p>“Owowowowowoowowoowowowoowoo”</p><p>She then proceeded to make her way to the side of Harvey’s coffin. The five other pallbearers got into position. They kneeled down to pick up Harvey’s coffin. Every part of Lauren’s body ached as she knelt down. </p><p>“This is my punishment for being horny” She thought to herself. </p><p>The pallbearers lifted up the coffin and proceeded to make their way out the door. Lauren was shaking and struggling to keep her balance as she walked. She cursed herself as she made her way outside with Harvey’s coffin. Lauren began to see the open grave where Harvey is to be buried.</p><p> “Oh thank God” Lauren thought “This nightmare is almost over”. </p><p>Right after she said that, as if by fate, Lauren got a massive cramp in her leg that caused her to fall to the ground. This caused one of the handles on Harvey’s coffin to bonk one of the pallbearers on the head, which caused them to fall down . The entire right side of Harvey’s coffin ended up falling to the ground and Harvey’s punctured CapriSun lookin ass fell out of the coffin. The entire crowd was mortified by what they were seeing. All of the women and Harvey’s grandfather fainted from the site of Harvey’s dead body. Everybody else  was just screaming and running around not knowing what to do. Lauren couldn’t handle the embarrassment any more and fled desperately from the scene. Since she couldn’t run normally, she ran like a newborn giraffe. </p><p>“ OH SHIT. OH FUCK. WHAT HAVE I DONE!?” she yelled as she ran down the street. </p><p>Not only was she engulfed in embarrassment, but she was also engulfed in rage towards Kieran. Even though it was technically not his fault. She still wanted to go back to his apartment and beat his ass. Lauren crab ran back to Kieran’s apartment and banged on the door. </p><p>“GET OUT HERE, FUCKWAD” she yelled “I DEMAND YOU TO COME OUT HERE AND UNFUCK ME THIS INSTANT”.</p><p> Nobody came to the door though because it turned out Kieran was at reconciliation. He had gone to church to ask for forgiveness. Not for murdering people, but for having pre-martial sex. Kieran purposely confessed to the cool priest that he’s friends with though. <br/>After Kieran confessed, the priest snuck a fist bump to Kieran and whispered </p><p>“That’s my boy”. </p><p>When Kieran got back from church. He found Lauren sitting outside his apartment door. She turned her head and when she saw Kieran, her eyes turned into the eyes of a bloodthirsty warlord. She scrambled up on her feet and began to sprint towards Kieran. However, her legs gave out and she fell flat on the floor. <br/>Kieran laughed and said </p><p>“Mon amour, have you come back to beg me for more?” </p><p>Lauren looked up and gave him a glare that could kill. Lauren was too tired and too sore to attack him now. So, she let him help her to her feet and walk her to his apartment. While they were there Lauren told Kieran what had happened. The more Lauren talked about how much pain she was in, the higher and higher Kieran’s ego got. Kieran is already extremely attractive and a master assassin. Now he has the title of Ultimate Puss Destroyer on his belt. When Lauren got to the part where she dropped Harvey’s coffin, it took every vain in Kieran’s body to not laugh at the image of Harvey’s punctured CapriSun lookin ass falling out of the coffin. However, he immediately stopped every funny emotion he felt when Lauren began to cry. </p><p>“I feel like a horrible person” She sobbed. “Even though Harvey was a traitor, he was still my friend and a human being that deserved a proper burial. But I ruined it because I became selfish by falling in love with the Purple Hyacinth” she sobbed.</p><p> Kieran raised his eyebrows at her statement. He knew that there was something between them but he didn’t think she would be the one to confess first. He sat down next to Lauren on the couch. He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with her but he managed to say</p><p> “It’s not your fault. Life just does this to you sometimes. Sometimes life just one day wakes up and decides that it’s gonna screw you over today” he said “ This day will probably fade away with time for you and eventually turn into a funny memory” he said “Unfortunately for me, the day that life decided to screw me over still haunts me”</p><p> Lauren looked over at Kieran and placed her hand on his. Kieran looked up at her in shock.</p><p>“I’m sorry about what has happened to you” Lauren said</p><p> They stared at each other for what felt like forever. Lauren then leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his lip and said <br/>“Thank you for trying to make me feel better”.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>